No, I haven't dissapeared off the planet. My thumbs haven't been broken. I haven't gone blind or forgotten how to type. Sadly, I have had actual, boring, tedious work to do at my job and have had neither the time nor the energy to write anything interesting. I hope this will not be a chronic problem, as I have a few good posts bubbling around under the surface of my brain just waiting for the opportunity to come out.
The dogs are good, other than Kaylee's obsession with eating fecal matter and the resulting vomiting. Repeatedly. She never learns....Fortunately I have an amazing helper who is there and willing to clean it up when I have sprained my back, or leg, or butt, or whatever it was the rendered me unable to twist, bend over, or crouch Monday night after teaching. My students were fantastic though, and I am feeling somewhat improved today, so it was all worth it.
Buster bought a two and a half foot tall chocolate bunny from the sale rack of Walgreens for .25 cents. Truly magnificent.
The Vero Beach trial is a week away, and I am taking off next Friday (which happens to be the 13th) to play in the B Match and Time 2 Beat demo. I am VERY excited. Only one more day this week, four next week, and I will be heading south for some fun with my Xan Man. Buster and the corgis will try to get along without us for the weekend.
In other agility news, the World Team Tryouts are this weekend, and several of my facebook friends are in route to Minnesota. I am thrilled and excited for them, wish them all the most fun, and can't wait to see the videos!! I can never get enough....
Oh, and happy Cinco De Mayo! Bring on the tequila....
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
Seriousness
Osama Bin Laden is dead. I'm sure I should have some sort of opinion about this, however, I would rather continue to think about agility instead. So I will.
Also, I learned an important lesson this weekend. After having two strong drinks over dinner, Buster and I went shoe shopping at DSW. I woke up Sunday morning and looked at my receipt. I spent $116 on two pairs of shoes. Damn.
Never go shopping while intoxicated.
They are very comfortable shoes though, so I suppose it could be worse.
Also, I learned an important lesson this weekend. After having two strong drinks over dinner, Buster and I went shoe shopping at DSW. I woke up Sunday morning and looked at my receipt. I spent $116 on two pairs of shoes. Damn.
Never go shopping while intoxicated.
They are very comfortable shoes though, so I suppose it could be worse.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Now With Music!
This took an obscenely long time to make and almost maxed out my poor little computer's memory, but I hope you enjoy it. I am a dork :)
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
In the Land of Perry
Once every April, amidst the vast lands of middle Georgia, the Peach Cluster Dog Show descends upon the fairgrounds in the town of Perry. Conformation, obedience, herding, agility, and a wide assortment of vendors gather for four days to celebrate the world of dogs. In previous years I have also witnessed lure coursing, flyball, and the “Doggie Fun Zone” a sort of hybrid lure coursing/agility obstacle course set up for entertainment, but these elements were missing this year. It has actually been several years since I have had the opportunity to attend, and given that Kaylee earned her first MACH at the same trial site (although during the July trial), these grounds hold a special fondness for me. The surface is PERFECT, not slippery, not loose, not hard, not rocky, just soft but firm and ideal for dogs and handlers alike. The fairgrounds offer plentiful parking, dog walking, and RV hosting areas, with vehicles as far as the eye can see. There are also clean and safe swimming lakes for the dogs to enjoy, air conditioning in the agility building, and lots and lots of bathrooms. Any trial with air conditioning and indoor plumbing is a good one. The days are long, but with stadium seating and an assortment of other activities to engage in, one is rarely bored.
Buster and I took time off from work in order to make the four hour drive Thursday afternoon and arrive in time to set up our crating area and check into the hotel before dark. I had a close call that morning with what appeared to be a low tire, and after driving up to the dealership, discovered there were two nails in my front left wheel! Once that was repaired, the weekend truly began. The drive was long but uneventful, and fortunately Buster was kind enough to drive so that I could entertain myself playing Angry Birds for several hours. Our timing was perfect as we arrived just in time to get set up before everyone left the building for the day, and I was even able to secure my armbands to save me the hassle the following morning. We arrived at the La Quinta Inn in Macon, GA around 6pm and were pleasantly surprised at the quality of the hotel and our room. Ample grassy areas to walk the dogs, and a huge bathroom made for happy travelers. Given that the trial started at 7am each day as opposed to the customary 8am, we were in bed early Thursday evening.
Although the trial was held from Thursday through Sunday, I entered Kaylee and Xander on Friday, Kirby and Xander on Saturday, and only Xander on Sunday. Running three dogs is expensive, and often confusing if there are conflicts. Case in point; on Saturday, Kirby’s scheduled run in Open Standard conflicted with Xander’s walk through in Excellent, so I passed him off to a friend and dashed over to walk Xander’s course. By the time I came back to run Kirby, I had forgotten his course and almost ran him to the wrong obstacle TWICE. Miraculously, he was a total rockstar and followed me as I yanked him off the wrong obstacles at the last second when I realized my mistake. Somehow we managed to Q with only one refusal, and I believe he was amused that it was ME responsible for screwing us up instead of him for a change. He nailed his weaves in both runs, but sadly I caused an off course and a knocked bar in JWW. However, he walked away with his second OA leg with a first place, since we were the only 12in dog to qualify.
Kaylee was a superstar as well. At nine years old, she hadn’t competed since December I believe, and came out to earn a 2nd in a very large 8in Exc JWW class! By the time six or so hours had passed and it was finally time to run Standard, she was over it and we had a miscommunication by the second to last jump. She still had a blast getting to play, and seemed to remember the location. Her favorite part was rolling in the hay and barking at the cows in the building across from ours. Such is the joy of a mostly-retirement.
Xander of course, was the hero of the weekend. He earned his Open Standard title on Friday with a 1st place, and made his debut in Exc A JWW that day as well with a 1st place. Saturday required him to wait almost 4 hours before his first run, since it was small to tall that day, and he was more than a little keyed up. I ran him off course by the third obstacle, so we had the freedom to run all out for the rest of the course. I deeply enjoyed that, and we had a blast. Although it was an NQ, portions of that run were some of my favorite parts of the weekend. His debut in Exc A STD went similarly, following another long wait, he went off course by the second obstacle this time. It was a chute with a 90 degree turn to the dogwalk, and he blasted right past the dogwalk! We recovered to handle the rest of the course, and I tried some other things I would not normally do if we were still qualifying, so that was fun and educational as well. We will be practicing the chute to the dogwalk!!
Sunday was the best day of the weekend. Our good friends Chris and Carroll came in late Friday night, and although they were exceedingly tired, enjoyed Saturday with us at the show. Carroll earned a Master JWW leg with Kansas, and we all went out to dinner at Outback on Saturday night. We stayed in the same hotel, so it was like a party! Feeling much more rested by Sunday morning, and having none of the conflicts of previous days, we faced Exc Std again early, as the tall dogs ran first the final day. His second experience in this class went far better than the first, and we ended up with the fastest time of all the 20in dogs! There were nearly seventy 20in dogs competing in Exc, including the incredible Gabrielle Blackburn and her amazing dog Zing. Although we earned 1st in Exc A, we would have placed 1st in Exc B as well. I was flabbergasted, thinking surely I would never be in the same league as these other competitors I admire so greatly. Of course, Terri Lee and her little sports car Vette weren’t present on Sunday, so I imagine they would have been at the top as well since they had been placing all weekend before!
Our final run of the weekend was my favorite. It was a very difficult Exc JWW course, and none of the larger dogs had run clean to my knowledge. We watched the legendary Ann Braue and Scream have difficulties, as well as the incredibly fast National Agility Finalists Jamie Herron and Zip have some trouble. There were only a handful of dogs before us to run in the 20in class, and we were still relaxed and happy from our success in STD. Xander handled the course like a professional and followed my every cue. While it did not feel “easy” because I had to stay on my toes the entire time, it did feel “good” and even better when we crossed the finish clean! Our time was 26.26, which held until Gabrielle and Zing laid down a 25.45. We were so close, and I was thrilled with our performance and another 1st place in Exc A. Although double q’s don’t count in Exc A, I still felt as though we’d earned one, and it was a perfect feeling to end the weekend on.
With a mix of relief, pleasure, and sadness, the weekend drew to a close. We packed up and said goodbye to our friends before making a last minute purchase of my one souvenir for the weekend, a cool car magnet that is simply a silhouette of agility equipment. Although I was exhausted upon our return home, Xander had a four hour nap and was ready to play again by the time we returned. His stamina has increased so dramatically lately that I fear I’ve created a monster. One time out to play Frisbee is no longer adequate. He now craves ACTION. I really need a yard and my own field of equipment….
The downside to all this fun was the cold, hard return to the real world yesterday. Taking two days off from work means returning to nearly 100 new emails and a mountain of backlogged work. Sigh.
I hope to have a video of the weekend up soon, when I can convince my computer to cooperate. I am trying to use music for the first time, and I don’t know if my poor little antique is up for the task. Stay tuned!
Buster and I took time off from work in order to make the four hour drive Thursday afternoon and arrive in time to set up our crating area and check into the hotel before dark. I had a close call that morning with what appeared to be a low tire, and after driving up to the dealership, discovered there were two nails in my front left wheel! Once that was repaired, the weekend truly began. The drive was long but uneventful, and fortunately Buster was kind enough to drive so that I could entertain myself playing Angry Birds for several hours. Our timing was perfect as we arrived just in time to get set up before everyone left the building for the day, and I was even able to secure my armbands to save me the hassle the following morning. We arrived at the La Quinta Inn in Macon, GA around 6pm and were pleasantly surprised at the quality of the hotel and our room. Ample grassy areas to walk the dogs, and a huge bathroom made for happy travelers. Given that the trial started at 7am each day as opposed to the customary 8am, we were in bed early Thursday evening.
Although the trial was held from Thursday through Sunday, I entered Kaylee and Xander on Friday, Kirby and Xander on Saturday, and only Xander on Sunday. Running three dogs is expensive, and often confusing if there are conflicts. Case in point; on Saturday, Kirby’s scheduled run in Open Standard conflicted with Xander’s walk through in Excellent, so I passed him off to a friend and dashed over to walk Xander’s course. By the time I came back to run Kirby, I had forgotten his course and almost ran him to the wrong obstacle TWICE. Miraculously, he was a total rockstar and followed me as I yanked him off the wrong obstacles at the last second when I realized my mistake. Somehow we managed to Q with only one refusal, and I believe he was amused that it was ME responsible for screwing us up instead of him for a change. He nailed his weaves in both runs, but sadly I caused an off course and a knocked bar in JWW. However, he walked away with his second OA leg with a first place, since we were the only 12in dog to qualify.
Kaylee was a superstar as well. At nine years old, she hadn’t competed since December I believe, and came out to earn a 2nd in a very large 8in Exc JWW class! By the time six or so hours had passed and it was finally time to run Standard, she was over it and we had a miscommunication by the second to last jump. She still had a blast getting to play, and seemed to remember the location. Her favorite part was rolling in the hay and barking at the cows in the building across from ours. Such is the joy of a mostly-retirement.
Xander of course, was the hero of the weekend. He earned his Open Standard title on Friday with a 1st place, and made his debut in Exc A JWW that day as well with a 1st place. Saturday required him to wait almost 4 hours before his first run, since it was small to tall that day, and he was more than a little keyed up. I ran him off course by the third obstacle, so we had the freedom to run all out for the rest of the course. I deeply enjoyed that, and we had a blast. Although it was an NQ, portions of that run were some of my favorite parts of the weekend. His debut in Exc A STD went similarly, following another long wait, he went off course by the second obstacle this time. It was a chute with a 90 degree turn to the dogwalk, and he blasted right past the dogwalk! We recovered to handle the rest of the course, and I tried some other things I would not normally do if we were still qualifying, so that was fun and educational as well. We will be practicing the chute to the dogwalk!!
Sunday was the best day of the weekend. Our good friends Chris and Carroll came in late Friday night, and although they were exceedingly tired, enjoyed Saturday with us at the show. Carroll earned a Master JWW leg with Kansas, and we all went out to dinner at Outback on Saturday night. We stayed in the same hotel, so it was like a party! Feeling much more rested by Sunday morning, and having none of the conflicts of previous days, we faced Exc Std again early, as the tall dogs ran first the final day. His second experience in this class went far better than the first, and we ended up with the fastest time of all the 20in dogs! There were nearly seventy 20in dogs competing in Exc, including the incredible Gabrielle Blackburn and her amazing dog Zing. Although we earned 1st in Exc A, we would have placed 1st in Exc B as well. I was flabbergasted, thinking surely I would never be in the same league as these other competitors I admire so greatly. Of course, Terri Lee and her little sports car Vette weren’t present on Sunday, so I imagine they would have been at the top as well since they had been placing all weekend before!
Our final run of the weekend was my favorite. It was a very difficult Exc JWW course, and none of the larger dogs had run clean to my knowledge. We watched the legendary Ann Braue and Scream have difficulties, as well as the incredibly fast National Agility Finalists Jamie Herron and Zip have some trouble. There were only a handful of dogs before us to run in the 20in class, and we were still relaxed and happy from our success in STD. Xander handled the course like a professional and followed my every cue. While it did not feel “easy” because I had to stay on my toes the entire time, it did feel “good” and even better when we crossed the finish clean! Our time was 26.26, which held until Gabrielle and Zing laid down a 25.45. We were so close, and I was thrilled with our performance and another 1st place in Exc A. Although double q’s don’t count in Exc A, I still felt as though we’d earned one, and it was a perfect feeling to end the weekend on.
With a mix of relief, pleasure, and sadness, the weekend drew to a close. We packed up and said goodbye to our friends before making a last minute purchase of my one souvenir for the weekend, a cool car magnet that is simply a silhouette of agility equipment. Although I was exhausted upon our return home, Xander had a four hour nap and was ready to play again by the time we returned. His stamina has increased so dramatically lately that I fear I’ve created a monster. One time out to play Frisbee is no longer adequate. He now craves ACTION. I really need a yard and my own field of equipment….
The downside to all this fun was the cold, hard return to the real world yesterday. Taking two days off from work means returning to nearly 100 new emails and a mountain of backlogged work. Sigh.
I hope to have a video of the weekend up soon, when I can convince my computer to cooperate. I am trying to use music for the first time, and I don’t know if my poor little antique is up for the task. Stay tuned!
Monday, April 11, 2011
A Second Life for the Five Fingers
I have mentioned numerous times in previous posts how much I love my weird looking, alien inspired, Vibram Five Finger “shoes.” These have become all the rage in the agility and running community, and as a life-long hater of traditionally constrictive, heavy shoes, I embraced them as well. I spent months running happily in them, and ignored the first time I executed a shallow rear cross and ended up landing heavily on my side. I brushed myself off, and kept going. The next time I wiped out and landed in a less than graceful fashion in the grass, I thought for a second, and dismissed my concern. However, by the third and fourth times I either did an unintended split or found myself face to face with my amused and confused border collie, I decided it was time to reconsider my choice of footwear.
First, let me say that I don’t fault the Vibrams. They are wonderful, comfortable, ingenious, and awesome. However, I am fatally clumsy. I lack grace. I manage to trip and fall, run into things, stumble over myself, and slip in any situation and during the most banal, seemingly harmless activities.
I needed tread. Serious tread, like from soccer cleats. However, I needed shoes that were lightweight and non-constrictive. I was overjoyed when at a local show, some lovely vendors showed up with a few pairs of Innov8 shoes. They only had a couple of sizes left, and lucky for me for once that I have absurdly large feet, a size 10 was among them. They are lightweight, breathable, and best off all, I NEVER slip, trip, or fall as a result of abrupt changes in direction. I still trip over myself, however, that is not the fault of the shoes, but rather the fact that I have boats for feet.
At any rate, despite my joy in finding the perfect shoe for preserving my structural integrity (repeated falls from my 5 foot 10 inch height is bound to do damage eventually), I lamented the loss of my good friends, the Vibram Five Fingers. There they sat in the laundry room, sad and neglected as I repeatedly headed out the door to play in my new Innov8’s. I wore them to the zoo, but it wasn’t the same. They seemed to wonder what they had done wrong to deserve the demotion. That is, until yesterday.
Buster recently graduated ITT Tech. I was very proud. The ceremony, the celebration dinner, and the visit from his grandmother were all wonderful. Buster has spent the last two years killing himself working his 50-70hr a week day job, in addition to spending countless hours in class and doing homework. With the end of school, he has found himself with a surplus of mental energy, and a need to direct it somewhere.
Enter the kayaks.
My darling has become obsessed with kayaks, fishing, and most recently fly fishing in particular. He has studied, researched, taken classes, poured over books, magazines, and the internet, and equipped himself with two kayaks and a vast assortment of accessories. It’s great that he’s happy. I fully support it because I got to reap the benefit of joining him in a kayaking expedition yesterday. He outfitted me with a special shirt to stay cool, a swell hat to keep the sun off my face, and a spiffy new pair of polarized sunglasses with a strap to keep them from falling in the water. What about shoes for being in the kayak, which gets wet and sometimes muddy as you tromp through sand and water to make it to your departure point?
If you guessed Vibram Five Fingers, give yourself ten bonus points!
Not only do they keep your feet cool and dry quickly after being wet, they can handle walking on sand, water, rocks, and even oyster shells! I put them through the ringer yesterday, and they handled it all brilliantly. We were both thrilled with their new purpose in life. Water activities will no longer include burnt, cut, or blistered feet. So long as Buster continues his love affair with the kayak, my Five Fingers and I will continue to be happy together.
My shoulders on the other hand, are a bit mad at me from five or six hours of paddling. Ouch.
First, let me say that I don’t fault the Vibrams. They are wonderful, comfortable, ingenious, and awesome. However, I am fatally clumsy. I lack grace. I manage to trip and fall, run into things, stumble over myself, and slip in any situation and during the most banal, seemingly harmless activities.
I needed tread. Serious tread, like from soccer cleats. However, I needed shoes that were lightweight and non-constrictive. I was overjoyed when at a local show, some lovely vendors showed up with a few pairs of Innov8 shoes. They only had a couple of sizes left, and lucky for me for once that I have absurdly large feet, a size 10 was among them. They are lightweight, breathable, and best off all, I NEVER slip, trip, or fall as a result of abrupt changes in direction. I still trip over myself, however, that is not the fault of the shoes, but rather the fact that I have boats for feet.
At any rate, despite my joy in finding the perfect shoe for preserving my structural integrity (repeated falls from my 5 foot 10 inch height is bound to do damage eventually), I lamented the loss of my good friends, the Vibram Five Fingers. There they sat in the laundry room, sad and neglected as I repeatedly headed out the door to play in my new Innov8’s. I wore them to the zoo, but it wasn’t the same. They seemed to wonder what they had done wrong to deserve the demotion. That is, until yesterday.
Buster recently graduated ITT Tech. I was very proud. The ceremony, the celebration dinner, and the visit from his grandmother were all wonderful. Buster has spent the last two years killing himself working his 50-70hr a week day job, in addition to spending countless hours in class and doing homework. With the end of school, he has found himself with a surplus of mental energy, and a need to direct it somewhere.
Enter the kayaks.
My darling has become obsessed with kayaks, fishing, and most recently fly fishing in particular. He has studied, researched, taken classes, poured over books, magazines, and the internet, and equipped himself with two kayaks and a vast assortment of accessories. It’s great that he’s happy. I fully support it because I got to reap the benefit of joining him in a kayaking expedition yesterday. He outfitted me with a special shirt to stay cool, a swell hat to keep the sun off my face, and a spiffy new pair of polarized sunglasses with a strap to keep them from falling in the water. What about shoes for being in the kayak, which gets wet and sometimes muddy as you tromp through sand and water to make it to your departure point?
If you guessed Vibram Five Fingers, give yourself ten bonus points!
Not only do they keep your feet cool and dry quickly after being wet, they can handle walking on sand, water, rocks, and even oyster shells! I put them through the ringer yesterday, and they handled it all brilliantly. We were both thrilled with their new purpose in life. Water activities will no longer include burnt, cut, or blistered feet. So long as Buster continues his love affair with the kayak, my Five Fingers and I will continue to be happy together.
My shoulders on the other hand, are a bit mad at me from five or six hours of paddling. Ouch.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Living Vicariously
One of the most amazing things about living in today’s world is the unprecedented access to information. Not just facts and news, but thoughts, emotions, experiences, and insights. I have become so addicted to reading about the exploits of fellow agility handlers, inspirational dog trainers, and others who just make me laugh with their irreverent look at the craziness of life. I can’t imagine living in the world of isolation that was before the advent of the internet. Even though the world wide web has been around for a number of years now, a new culture of “blogging” has emerged, in addition to social networks such as Facebook, and an overwhelming amount of information is shared for free as a result.
You can see my list of “blogs I follow” here on my blog as well as my friends on Facebook. Some are funny, such as Hyperbole and a Half, which has made me laugh so hard I’ve almost cried. I’ve also come close to incriminating myself at work by laughing out loud.
Others aim to be profound and share advice for being more successful as a human being, such as Raptitude. While I may not agree with everything on this blog, there are gems within that are worth searching for.
The majority of the blogs I follow relate to my life’s greatest passion: dog training. Susan Garrett, Silvia Trkman, and other greats have offered priceless advice and insights into behavior modification, trick training, and strategy.
The others are people I would consider peers, although superior in the sport. These are people who inspire me in their agility journeys and people whom I aspire to be more like in various ways. They share their experiences, both good and bad, and relate the lessons they have learned through these experiences. These people set aside ego and allow the vulnerability it takes to admit that while they are not yet perfect, they are enjoying the journey in striving to be so. I want to thank them for their bravery, their ability to be honest and genuine in their faults, their admirable humility, and for allowing me to vicariously celebrate in their victories.
Furthermore, I recall reading that the sport of agility is in danger due to a lack of young handlers. I don’t think this could be further from the truth. In fact, due to Facebook, I have enjoyed watching a number of young, talented, passionate handlers make their presence known over the past year. While I myself initially become involved in agility at age 14, many of these handlers have been involved since the age of 6 and have had support and parental involvement. They’ve demonstrated skills superior to the majority of their elders, and exhibit the passion and dedication to work hard and accomplish what may previously have been unthinkable. These handlers are helping drive the sport with faster dogs, smoother handling, and more advanced training techniques. The rest of us need to work harder if we hope to reach the bar they are setting!
I was unable to watch the livestream of the AKC National Championship this weekend, but followed religiously on my phone through the magic of Facebook. I brimmed with eager anticipation at every update and celebrated each victory of those handlers I have been reading about and following online for so long now.
So to people such as Tori Self, Gabrielle Blackburn, Sarah Duke, Kelsey Kirkpatrick, Lauren Haley Duckworth, Andrea Samuels, Rosanne DeMascio and so many more, I thank you for sharing your excitement, your experiences, your victories and your close calls, and all that you have learned along the way. Congratulations for all of your achievements, and best wishes for your future endeavors. My life is enriched by all of you, and I hope to be sharing a Nationals experience again myself one day!
You can see my list of “blogs I follow” here on my blog as well as my friends on Facebook. Some are funny, such as Hyperbole and a Half, which has made me laugh so hard I’ve almost cried. I’ve also come close to incriminating myself at work by laughing out loud.
Others aim to be profound and share advice for being more successful as a human being, such as Raptitude. While I may not agree with everything on this blog, there are gems within that are worth searching for.
The majority of the blogs I follow relate to my life’s greatest passion: dog training. Susan Garrett, Silvia Trkman, and other greats have offered priceless advice and insights into behavior modification, trick training, and strategy.
The others are people I would consider peers, although superior in the sport. These are people who inspire me in their agility journeys and people whom I aspire to be more like in various ways. They share their experiences, both good and bad, and relate the lessons they have learned through these experiences. These people set aside ego and allow the vulnerability it takes to admit that while they are not yet perfect, they are enjoying the journey in striving to be so. I want to thank them for their bravery, their ability to be honest and genuine in their faults, their admirable humility, and for allowing me to vicariously celebrate in their victories.
Furthermore, I recall reading that the sport of agility is in danger due to a lack of young handlers. I don’t think this could be further from the truth. In fact, due to Facebook, I have enjoyed watching a number of young, talented, passionate handlers make their presence known over the past year. While I myself initially become involved in agility at age 14, many of these handlers have been involved since the age of 6 and have had support and parental involvement. They’ve demonstrated skills superior to the majority of their elders, and exhibit the passion and dedication to work hard and accomplish what may previously have been unthinkable. These handlers are helping drive the sport with faster dogs, smoother handling, and more advanced training techniques. The rest of us need to work harder if we hope to reach the bar they are setting!
I was unable to watch the livestream of the AKC National Championship this weekend, but followed religiously on my phone through the magic of Facebook. I brimmed with eager anticipation at every update and celebrated each victory of those handlers I have been reading about and following online for so long now.
So to people such as Tori Self, Gabrielle Blackburn, Sarah Duke, Kelsey Kirkpatrick, Lauren Haley Duckworth, Andrea Samuels, Rosanne DeMascio and so many more, I thank you for sharing your excitement, your experiences, your victories and your close calls, and all that you have learned along the way. Congratulations for all of your achievements, and best wishes for your future endeavors. My life is enriched by all of you, and I hope to be sharing a Nationals experience again myself one day!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Getting What You Really Want
When I was about nine years old, my mother, brother, and I had a weekly routine. Every Friday we would travel to the Wal-Mart shopping center on 103’rd Ave here in Jacksonville to visit Xeno’s comic book shop. My mom, very much like her younger brother, my uncle Gary, was an avid comic book collector. She initially began reading X-Men, which branched off to a number of other storylines, resulting in a big stack of comic books waiting for her each week. My brother and I looked forward to these weekly visits, as we enjoyed looking at all of the comics and collectibles and were friends with the really cool, twenty-something clerk named Jeff who loved Star Wars, comic books, action figures, and all things awesome. The name of the owner of this comic book shop escapes me now, but she was friends with my mom for years. We had followed the shop when it originated in the Gateway mall years prior and eventually moved to the prime Wal-Mart proximal location on the West side of Jacksonville. She was an older lady who owned the business with her husband, who I rarely remember seeing, but who had other interests in addition to comic books. She sculpted figurines and collectibles, some intended for use in role playing games, others just for the sake of cute. At age nine, I was more interested in the latter. On one occasion she sculpted a small dog and cat figurine with tiny accessories, such as bowls and a bed that fascinated me. I became preoccupied with acquiring them. On top of that, there was a Hallmark store located next door. My love affair with Hallmark began the year prior, when I received my first collectible Hallmark Christmas ornament, which spawned a collection of hundreds over the last 23 years. In addition to ornaments, I adored stuffed animals, and Hallmark carried some of the best. Thus it happened that I came to be enamored with a small, stuffed calico kitten that I named “Scampers” before I was even able to take it from the store. My obsession with both the sculpted figurines and the stuffed kitten began around the same time, when I had sadly no money.
My mother, bless her good intentions, was much more structured with me than she was with my younger brother. I was afforded a small allowance; however, it required massive amounts of house cleaning in order to earn a meager amount. We’re talking bathroom cleaning, vacuuming, dusting, and other unpleasant tasks in the house which my grandmother had raised four children and lived in for roughly thirty years by that time. My only other sources of income were from good grades (I earned money for every A and B I brought home on my report card) and from birthdays. Mom was also diligent about making me go to school, which I now deeply appreciate. My brother, who suffered from terrible asthma as a small child, was allowed to stay home with every sniffle, and eventually dropped out of high school in the tenth grade. On the other hand, I went to school unless I was desperately ill, and went on to earn a scholarship in high school which put me through college to earn a Bachelor’s degree. Therefore, I was presented with choices as a child that helped prepare me for the realities of adulthood. There were a great many things I was not taught that I probably should have been, and some of the lessons I did learn needed to be relearned later in life. This lesson, although obviously memorable, did not really hit home with me until recently. Now I am glad for it.
After saving my money for several weeks in order to afford the figurines and the stuffed kitten, and checking frantically every week that they were still available for purchase, the Friday finally came that I would be able to bring them home. Unfortunately, my body decided to rebel against me. I awoke that morning, having gone to bed with the excitement of the next afternoon’s weekly trip to my favorite places, with a severely upset stomach. I wasn’t just suffering from my usual “nervous stomach”, I felt outright ill. My mother gave me the option of staying home, in which case I would not be allowed to go shopping that afternoon, or I could make it through the school day and be allowed to bring home my long awaited treasures. I remember battling with myself over this decision, and ultimately decided that I would do anything to be able to go out that afternoon to get what I wanted. So I went to school.
The day was an eternity of misery. When you feel nauseous, it is nearly impossible to think or do anything else. I spent much of the day with my head on my arms, resting on my desktop. Given that I was typically an “A” student, overachiever, and rule follower, my teachers and the staff loved me. I can’t tell you how many times during the day someone offered to call my mom so I could go home. I stubbornly refused. I was in an epic battle against the forces raging inside my body, and determined that the power of my will would prevail.
When the classroom music teacher came and the students got up to dance, I sat at my desk feeling lightheaded. When it was time to paint, I could scarcely muster the energy to finger paint, and cleaning up afterwards was a dreadful chore. Lunchtime was a torture of badly smelling, burnt cafeteria pizza which made me fight the urge to gag. Again, the teachers in the lunch room pleaded with me to go home, and I steadfastly refused. I desperately wished for that half hour to hurry by, but it crept along as though intentionally testing my resolve. The afternoon dragged out until after 2:00pm, at which time I began watching the ticking of the second hand on the clock, focusing solely on the wonderful prizes that would reward me shortly.
After what felt like weeks of agony, the school bell rang. It would have been the sweetest sound, were I able to hear it over the loud thudding of my heart and the blood rushing in my ears. My friend Amanda, who had worried over me all day like a mother hen, walked with me out to the circle where my mother would soon arrive to pick me up. Although I doubt he remembers it (thankfully), Buster was there too, as he was my classmate at the time and would often walk with me as well. After what would soon transpire, I only remember that he made a sympathetic comment which somehow managed to comfort me in spite of my embarrassment. Not all kids are awful.
So there I stood a sickly green, but victorious; having endured the entire school day feeling like death warmed over, and having fought down countless waves of nausea. My prize was in sight, and I had now only to be picked up and driven to retrieve it. I must have let down my guard for that brief moment, and whatever was plaguing me finally triumphed and came spilling forth onto the sidewalk. Obviously, elementary school kids are not particularly prepared for something of this magnitude, and the reaction was predictable. Luckily, my friend Amanda, the loyal and mature soul that she was, stood by in my defense after I was done puking on the front steps of our school. Additionally, my mom had the decency to pull up shortly thereafter. Given that it was Friday, by the time I returned on Monday, the few people that witnessed the event had already moved on to other things, and luckily I wasn’t subject to too much ridicule.
After welcoming me into the car and hearing what had just occurred, my mom felt that we should just go home so that I could lie down. Most parents would have insisted on this given what had just transpired. However, I would have none of that, and my mom was a soft hearted soul who hated to disappoint. Deliriously, I detailed the various ordeals of my day and expounded that after upholding my end of the bargain, i.e. going to school, I deserved my reward. We drove to the shopping center, my mother frequently sparing me concerned glances as I sprawled sickly in the back seat. Somehow I was able to drag myself into the stores long enough to make my purchases.
I believe these toys became infinitely more valuable as a result of my hard work and suffering to acquire them. Scampers in particular accompanied me for many years of car rides and daily playtimes and has the wear to show for it. I am not sure what happened to those figurines, although I kept them well into my teens, but I know I still have Scampers in a box somewhere, a testament to the power of my will. Or it could be stubbornness. But I’m going to go with will. Had someone just bought them for me, they would likely have been neglected and forgotten, as were so many other toys. The value of something, be it an object or an accomplishment, is directly related to the effort and sacrifice they required in achieving them, at least that’s what I’ve come to believe.
Things get more complicated as you go through life, and getting what you want requires more than just making it through one particularly unpleasant day. My parents studied at the school of instant gratification, and never had the resolve to endure a job they didn’t like, or sacrifice something they wanted that moment in order to save money for the future. Perhaps if I’d had better role models, I wouldn’t have had to learn the hard way. Maybe I would have had to learn it on my own regardless. At any rate, I have learned it. After working so hard to get through high school and college, I fell prey to the path of least resistance, not knowing or caring what the long term consequences would be. I quit jobs impulsively when angry, bored, or frustrated which often left me lost and desperate and forced to take the next crappy job that came along, only perpetuating the same cycle. I spent money I didn’t have, using credit cards to buy things I wanted, or thought I needed, with money I didn’t have. Now, a decade later, I am paying the consequences. I am now enduring a job I don’t particularly like in order to move into a position I hope to find more fulfilling further down the line. I put up with daily frustrations and irritations because I see that jumping ship is not the answer. I think very hard about the money I spend and what I spend it on, because I now have to use so much of my income to pay for the debt I accumulated in the carelessness and shortsightedness of prior years. I appreciate now how hard money is to come by, and take opportunities to make more wherever I can find them in order to get on level ground again. Only when I’ve atoned for the mistakes of the past can I be rewarded with the luxuries I desire in the future such as a house with a backyard, and my own agility equipment.
Its taken lots of trial and error to finally realize that it may take years of doing something you don’t really like or want to do in order to ultimately get the prize you seek. Winning the battle requires patience, endurance, and a commitment to that goal which will not be denied. Somewhere along the way, in trying to decide WHAT I wanted and WHERE I should direct my energy, I lost touch with the power of that nine year old girl’s determination. It’s always been there, and surfaced here and there for various reasons, but only now do I really appreciate it. I think that finally having goals, discovering my talents, and realizing a vision for what my life can be if I am willing to work for it, I am beginning to see that little girl’s will power emerging once again.
I needed the power of a kindred spirit to help me see what is possible if you are willing to endure. Funny that he was there on that day over twenty years ago, but we both had many lessons to learn and mistakes to make before we could become the people we are today. We still have many lessons to learn, but the difference now is that we have a direction and a reason for trying. Each day remains a struggle between what would be most gratifying in this moment and what we are ultimately striving towards. The key is to remember that all things worth having require you to resist what is easy, or fun, or satisfying right now in order to achieve that long term gratification. This takes effort and focus in every moment of every day. Chances are, not every battle will be won, but it’s a long war. Luckily, when I know what I want, there is usually no stopping me.
Hopefully there won’t be too much vomit along the way.
My mother, bless her good intentions, was much more structured with me than she was with my younger brother. I was afforded a small allowance; however, it required massive amounts of house cleaning in order to earn a meager amount. We’re talking bathroom cleaning, vacuuming, dusting, and other unpleasant tasks in the house which my grandmother had raised four children and lived in for roughly thirty years by that time. My only other sources of income were from good grades (I earned money for every A and B I brought home on my report card) and from birthdays. Mom was also diligent about making me go to school, which I now deeply appreciate. My brother, who suffered from terrible asthma as a small child, was allowed to stay home with every sniffle, and eventually dropped out of high school in the tenth grade. On the other hand, I went to school unless I was desperately ill, and went on to earn a scholarship in high school which put me through college to earn a Bachelor’s degree. Therefore, I was presented with choices as a child that helped prepare me for the realities of adulthood. There were a great many things I was not taught that I probably should have been, and some of the lessons I did learn needed to be relearned later in life. This lesson, although obviously memorable, did not really hit home with me until recently. Now I am glad for it.
After saving my money for several weeks in order to afford the figurines and the stuffed kitten, and checking frantically every week that they were still available for purchase, the Friday finally came that I would be able to bring them home. Unfortunately, my body decided to rebel against me. I awoke that morning, having gone to bed with the excitement of the next afternoon’s weekly trip to my favorite places, with a severely upset stomach. I wasn’t just suffering from my usual “nervous stomach”, I felt outright ill. My mother gave me the option of staying home, in which case I would not be allowed to go shopping that afternoon, or I could make it through the school day and be allowed to bring home my long awaited treasures. I remember battling with myself over this decision, and ultimately decided that I would do anything to be able to go out that afternoon to get what I wanted. So I went to school.
The day was an eternity of misery. When you feel nauseous, it is nearly impossible to think or do anything else. I spent much of the day with my head on my arms, resting on my desktop. Given that I was typically an “A” student, overachiever, and rule follower, my teachers and the staff loved me. I can’t tell you how many times during the day someone offered to call my mom so I could go home. I stubbornly refused. I was in an epic battle against the forces raging inside my body, and determined that the power of my will would prevail.
When the classroom music teacher came and the students got up to dance, I sat at my desk feeling lightheaded. When it was time to paint, I could scarcely muster the energy to finger paint, and cleaning up afterwards was a dreadful chore. Lunchtime was a torture of badly smelling, burnt cafeteria pizza which made me fight the urge to gag. Again, the teachers in the lunch room pleaded with me to go home, and I steadfastly refused. I desperately wished for that half hour to hurry by, but it crept along as though intentionally testing my resolve. The afternoon dragged out until after 2:00pm, at which time I began watching the ticking of the second hand on the clock, focusing solely on the wonderful prizes that would reward me shortly.
After what felt like weeks of agony, the school bell rang. It would have been the sweetest sound, were I able to hear it over the loud thudding of my heart and the blood rushing in my ears. My friend Amanda, who had worried over me all day like a mother hen, walked with me out to the circle where my mother would soon arrive to pick me up. Although I doubt he remembers it (thankfully), Buster was there too, as he was my classmate at the time and would often walk with me as well. After what would soon transpire, I only remember that he made a sympathetic comment which somehow managed to comfort me in spite of my embarrassment. Not all kids are awful.
So there I stood a sickly green, but victorious; having endured the entire school day feeling like death warmed over, and having fought down countless waves of nausea. My prize was in sight, and I had now only to be picked up and driven to retrieve it. I must have let down my guard for that brief moment, and whatever was plaguing me finally triumphed and came spilling forth onto the sidewalk. Obviously, elementary school kids are not particularly prepared for something of this magnitude, and the reaction was predictable. Luckily, my friend Amanda, the loyal and mature soul that she was, stood by in my defense after I was done puking on the front steps of our school. Additionally, my mom had the decency to pull up shortly thereafter. Given that it was Friday, by the time I returned on Monday, the few people that witnessed the event had already moved on to other things, and luckily I wasn’t subject to too much ridicule.
After welcoming me into the car and hearing what had just occurred, my mom felt that we should just go home so that I could lie down. Most parents would have insisted on this given what had just transpired. However, I would have none of that, and my mom was a soft hearted soul who hated to disappoint. Deliriously, I detailed the various ordeals of my day and expounded that after upholding my end of the bargain, i.e. going to school, I deserved my reward. We drove to the shopping center, my mother frequently sparing me concerned glances as I sprawled sickly in the back seat. Somehow I was able to drag myself into the stores long enough to make my purchases.
I believe these toys became infinitely more valuable as a result of my hard work and suffering to acquire them. Scampers in particular accompanied me for many years of car rides and daily playtimes and has the wear to show for it. I am not sure what happened to those figurines, although I kept them well into my teens, but I know I still have Scampers in a box somewhere, a testament to the power of my will. Or it could be stubbornness. But I’m going to go with will. Had someone just bought them for me, they would likely have been neglected and forgotten, as were so many other toys. The value of something, be it an object or an accomplishment, is directly related to the effort and sacrifice they required in achieving them, at least that’s what I’ve come to believe.
Things get more complicated as you go through life, and getting what you want requires more than just making it through one particularly unpleasant day. My parents studied at the school of instant gratification, and never had the resolve to endure a job they didn’t like, or sacrifice something they wanted that moment in order to save money for the future. Perhaps if I’d had better role models, I wouldn’t have had to learn the hard way. Maybe I would have had to learn it on my own regardless. At any rate, I have learned it. After working so hard to get through high school and college, I fell prey to the path of least resistance, not knowing or caring what the long term consequences would be. I quit jobs impulsively when angry, bored, or frustrated which often left me lost and desperate and forced to take the next crappy job that came along, only perpetuating the same cycle. I spent money I didn’t have, using credit cards to buy things I wanted, or thought I needed, with money I didn’t have. Now, a decade later, I am paying the consequences. I am now enduring a job I don’t particularly like in order to move into a position I hope to find more fulfilling further down the line. I put up with daily frustrations and irritations because I see that jumping ship is not the answer. I think very hard about the money I spend and what I spend it on, because I now have to use so much of my income to pay for the debt I accumulated in the carelessness and shortsightedness of prior years. I appreciate now how hard money is to come by, and take opportunities to make more wherever I can find them in order to get on level ground again. Only when I’ve atoned for the mistakes of the past can I be rewarded with the luxuries I desire in the future such as a house with a backyard, and my own agility equipment.
Its taken lots of trial and error to finally realize that it may take years of doing something you don’t really like or want to do in order to ultimately get the prize you seek. Winning the battle requires patience, endurance, and a commitment to that goal which will not be denied. Somewhere along the way, in trying to decide WHAT I wanted and WHERE I should direct my energy, I lost touch with the power of that nine year old girl’s determination. It’s always been there, and surfaced here and there for various reasons, but only now do I really appreciate it. I think that finally having goals, discovering my talents, and realizing a vision for what my life can be if I am willing to work for it, I am beginning to see that little girl’s will power emerging once again.
I needed the power of a kindred spirit to help me see what is possible if you are willing to endure. Funny that he was there on that day over twenty years ago, but we both had many lessons to learn and mistakes to make before we could become the people we are today. We still have many lessons to learn, but the difference now is that we have a direction and a reason for trying. Each day remains a struggle between what would be most gratifying in this moment and what we are ultimately striving towards. The key is to remember that all things worth having require you to resist what is easy, or fun, or satisfying right now in order to achieve that long term gratification. This takes effort and focus in every moment of every day. Chances are, not every battle will be won, but it’s a long war. Luckily, when I know what I want, there is usually no stopping me.
Hopefully there won’t be too much vomit along the way.
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