For the Love of the Game

I am heading down south to Vero Beach this weekend for some agility fun. I am excited. I have not been down to Vero in a VERY long time, hailing back to the days years ago when I was competing heavily with Kaylee. This will be Xander’s first trip down south, and we have not competed since the trial in Perry, GA basically one month ago. I have been longing for the chance to again immerse myself in that world which I love so much. Of course my life in recent years has rarely been devoid of agility. Since beginning to teach my classes nearly two years ago, I have had agility on the brain more than I might otherwise have, given that I spend so much time considering the needs of my students, my plans for their lessons, and obviously the skills I desire to work on with my own dogs. There are weekly lessons and practice, and now the class I have recently started attending with Xander. Additionally, there is a daily fix of watching videos of trial footage from other handlers, studying their techniques and analyzing the handling choices of others I respect. I read blogs from top competitors, and from those who offer a humorous perspective on trying to reach the top. Last weekend was filled with an above average preoccupation given that I was not actually competing myself, rather following the results of the World Team Tryouts held by the AKC in search for that elite group of dogs and handlers who will have the privilege of representing the United States in France later this year. Among them being the young but brilliantly wise and skilled Tori Self and her aptly named dog Revolution for the impact they are making on the world of agility.

I have spent recent weeks considering my philosophy on agility; my thoughts on relationship, rewards, goals, and the intangible skills that separate brilliant dog trainers from the rest. Tori’s post this morning, (and I hope she does not think I am a creepy stalker, rather an avid admirer) hit on a topic I have been preoccupied with lately myself. The concept of enjoying the game for what it is, rather than trying to qualify or win, and in the process become stressed out trying prevent anything from going wrong. Others have spoken on this as well, although in cases such as Daisy Peel’s, the focus is more on mastering the mental game itself; in essence being able to control one’s emotional influences on the ability to focus and think clearly. Sarah Duke, another competitor and blogger I admire and enjoy following, spoke also on the pitfalls of becoming too focused on goals rather than process.

Kaylee and I used to compete quite a lot. At least once a month, but more often two or three times a month. I worked for the sole purpose of playing agility, and was in a situation where my living expenses were mostly paid for and I had only to pay for my hobby. I was also young and stupid when it came to the use of credit, and was completely irresponsible with the ample amounts of money I was deemed worthy to borrow. I had no long term dreams or goals. I was lost and unhappy, feeling stuck where I was in my working life as well as domestically and so agility became my only outlet. I was obsessed. I had nothing else in my life that brought me any amount of happiness or satisfaction, so it was truly all I cared about. That was a bad place to be. Kaylee was a great young dog, and very mature and consistent from an early age. Looking back, I know and regret starting her too young, practicing with her too often, and causing her to have back and shoulder problems she might not otherwise have had. I am grateful to her for teaching me so much that will benefit all of my dogs going forward.

Due to Kaylee’s honesty, work ethic, and willingness, we were able to qualify quite consistently. This became addictive. In my day to day life of feeling like a loser, escaping to a weekend of agility and returning with a handful of ribbons and titles was highly reinforcing. As we approached our coveted MACH title, I became entirely too focused on qualifying, and lost sight of enjoying the game. We had attended the Perry, GA trial in April for the first time that year, and I had seen the glorious green and blue rosette awarded to teams who earned a MACH at that trial. I WANTED IT. I have no idea why that beautiful ribbon became so important for me, but I had tunnel vision in regards to it.

We were closing in on our final four Double Q’s when we attended this weekend’s trial in Vero Beach six years ago in 2005. Perry would be hosting another 4 day trial in July, and there were no local trials in June, so I knew that if I could get several Double Q’s between the Vero trial and the upcoming trial in Palmetto at the end of May, I would stand a good chance of walking away from Perry with the ribbon and title I obsessively dreamed of. We had gotten something like eleven DQ’s in a row before this trial, but I fell apart in this home stretch. I was always nervous when competing, as if I had something to prove to myself and others, that I was worthy and had something to offer despite everything else in my life. I was too nauseous to eat until after finishing my runs for the day, which was usually eight or so hours from the time I had woken up. I didn’t sleep well. I was nervous and making myself miserable. Understandably, I made mistakes.

Poor Kaylee, I feel so bad for the person she had to deal with. I think she’s gotten her revenge in the years of barking and poop eating, but I was a wreck and often a terribly neurotic over-handler. On that weekend in Vero, I micro-managed her through one course on Saturday, only to screw her up on the second course. By Sunday morning, I was desperate to earn at least one DQ, so when she slid off the table in standard, something she has only done one other time since, I decided there was no point in running jumpers. I packed up my gear in disgust and headed home early. Kaylee, I am so sorry for being such an a$$hole, and I hope I have made it up to you since then.

We didn’t qualify in Palmetto that last weekend of May, and I don’t even remember why. So when we arrived in Perry we still needed those 4 DQ’s. I knew it was POSSIBLE in four days, but I had dismissed the idea altogether. After my poor performance in the last two trials, I said to heck with it and decided just to go out and get whatever we could. I wish I had been as wise at age 25 as Tori is at age 19, but I’m glad I learned the lesson eventually. Once I stopped believing that we could get our MACH that weekend, the last chance we would have until the fall season began again months later, we qualified. Every run: Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

Admittedly, by Saturday night I was so nervous that I couldn’t think straight. We only needed one more perfect day to walk away with that ribbon. The newest Harry Potter book had been released that day, the sixth one in the series, so that helped distract me a little, but I couldn’t focus on that well either. However, I realized that if we didn’t get it, that wouldn’t be the end of the world, and we could get the title early in the next season. I didn’t REALLY need that ribbon, I only wanted it. So we showed up Sunday and did what we had been doing before I got all hung up on the goal. And I got the ribbon, which is now in a box somewhere. But I do treasure the photo collage I made including the picture of Kaylee and I smiling together with our bar and ribbon in the pretty pink flowers outside the arena.

It was a great accomplishment at the time, but once achieved, I kind of lost interest. Because I was so focused on just achieving that one thing, I forgot how to enjoy the ride. It was no longer about playing a game with the dog I loved and admired who was smart and fast and happy when she was playing with me. It was only about a title and a ribbon, which are easily forgotten.

Kaylee hurt her back that summer, and to make a long story short, although we got her fixed up and competed more for a while, my focus turned to other things. I had to make the choice between sacrificing my overall happiness and well being for the sake of competing in agility, or give it up in order to gain a better life. I didn’t have the emotional energy, time, money, or desire to do much agility for a long time. Once I got stabilized finally in the latter part of 2008, I felt my old passion start to reignite. Kaylee easily finished her second MACH as I was exposing baby Xander to the world of agility trials, and thus began my gradual return to the world of competition.

I have learned so much since that trial in 2005, and am so thrilled to be heading to this competition six years later with a completely different perspective. While life is not yet perfect, it is GOOD. Actually, it is pretty great overall, and I have balance now. Agility, while a large part of my life, is not the only thing that brings me satisfaction and fulfillment. I no longer feel the need to prove anything to anyone, or myself. I am free to ENJOY myself and the time spent playing with my wonderful dogs. I see agility now as a beautiful dance when done correctly, and aspire to having the fastest, happiest dog with the greatest understanding of his job. If this results in titles and wins, that's fine, but those will just be side effects that come from truly enjoying what we're doing and focusing on all the beautiful details and skills it takes to make the dance seem easy. Agility is also expensive, and considering that I now have to work, pay bills, make choices for my long term future, it has become a privilege. I have learned to appreciate each opportunity I have to go play this game that I love. Although we could achieve some titles this weekend, I really don’t care. I cannot control everything, nor prevent anything from going wrong. All I can do is remember the work and training we have put into our team, trust my dog to do his job, and acknowledge that when he makes a mistake, it is just another opportunity to go home and train to make us a better team. I can eat breakfast; enjoy talking to friends, and take Xander for walks around the trial site. I can step to the line with my beautiful boy, kiss him on the nose, and give him a big smile before releasing him to run. He chatters with excitement when he is about to play his game, and since I never scold him or become frustrated with him, he is always eager to run as fast as he can. When we cross the line, q or no q, we will tug and play and I will tell him what a fabulous, smart, and handsome boy he is. I will be grateful for every moment, because I no longer care about ribbons or titles so much, rather I love my dog and together we LOVE THIS GAME.

The Daily Grind

No, I haven't dissapeared off the planet. My thumbs haven't been broken. I haven't gone blind or forgotten how to type. Sadly, I have had actual, boring, tedious work to do at my job and have had neither the time nor the energy to write anything interesting. I hope this will not be a chronic problem, as I have a few good posts bubbling around under the surface of my brain just waiting for the opportunity to come out.
The dogs are good, other than Kaylee's obsession with eating fecal matter and the resulting vomiting. Repeatedly. She never learns....Fortunately I have an amazing helper who is there and willing to clean it up when I have sprained my back, or leg, or butt, or whatever it was the rendered me unable to twist, bend over, or crouch Monday night after teaching. My students were fantastic though, and I am feeling somewhat improved today, so it was all worth it.
Buster bought a two and a half foot tall chocolate bunny from the sale rack of Walgreens for .25 cents. Truly magnificent.
The Vero Beach trial is a week away, and I am taking off next Friday (which happens to be the 13th) to play in the B Match and Time 2 Beat demo. I am VERY excited. Only one more day this week, four next week, and I will be heading south for some fun with my Xan Man. Buster and the corgis will try to get along without us for the weekend.
In other agility news, the World Team Tryouts are this weekend, and several of my facebook friends are in route to Minnesota. I am thrilled and excited for them, wish them all the most fun, and can't wait to see the videos!! I can never get enough....
Oh, and happy Cinco De Mayo! Bring on the tequila....

Seriousness

Osama Bin Laden is dead. I'm sure I should have some sort of opinion about this, however, I would rather continue to think about agility instead. So I will.

Also, I learned an important lesson this weekend. After having two strong drinks over dinner, Buster and I went shoe shopping at DSW. I woke up Sunday morning and looked at my receipt. I spent $116 on two pairs of shoes. Damn.

Never go shopping while intoxicated.

They are very comfortable shoes though, so I suppose it could be worse.

Now With Music!

This took an obscenely long time to make and almost maxed out my poor little computer's memory, but I hope you enjoy it. I am a dork :)

In the Land of Perry

Once every April, amidst the vast lands of middle Georgia, the Peach Cluster Dog Show descends upon the fairgrounds in the town of Perry. Conformation, obedience, herding, agility, and a wide assortment of vendors gather for four days to celebrate the world of dogs. In previous years I have also witnessed lure coursing, flyball, and the “Doggie Fun Zone” a sort of hybrid lure coursing/agility obstacle course set up for entertainment, but these elements were missing this year. It has actually been several years since I have had the opportunity to attend, and given that Kaylee earned her first MACH at the same trial site (although during the July trial), these grounds hold a special fondness for me. The surface is PERFECT, not slippery, not loose, not hard, not rocky, just soft but firm and ideal for dogs and handlers alike. The fairgrounds offer plentiful parking, dog walking, and RV hosting areas, with vehicles as far as the eye can see. There are also clean and safe swimming lakes for the dogs to enjoy, air conditioning in the agility building, and lots and lots of bathrooms. Any trial with air conditioning and indoor plumbing is a good one. The days are long, but with stadium seating and an assortment of other activities to engage in, one is rarely bored.

Buster and I took time off from work in order to make the four hour drive Thursday afternoon and arrive in time to set up our crating area and check into the hotel before dark. I had a close call that morning with what appeared to be a low tire, and after driving up to the dealership, discovered there were two nails in my front left wheel! Once that was repaired, the weekend truly began. The drive was long but uneventful, and fortunately Buster was kind enough to drive so that I could entertain myself playing Angry Birds for several hours. Our timing was perfect as we arrived just in time to get set up before everyone left the building for the day, and I was even able to secure my armbands to save me the hassle the following morning. We arrived at the La Quinta Inn in Macon, GA around 6pm and were pleasantly surprised at the quality of the hotel and our room. Ample grassy areas to walk the dogs, and a huge bathroom made for happy travelers. Given that the trial started at 7am each day as opposed to the customary 8am, we were in bed early Thursday evening.

Although the trial was held from Thursday through Sunday, I entered Kaylee and Xander on Friday, Kirby and Xander on Saturday, and only Xander on Sunday. Running three dogs is expensive, and often confusing if there are conflicts. Case in point; on Saturday, Kirby’s scheduled run in Open Standard conflicted with Xander’s walk through in Excellent, so I passed him off to a friend and dashed over to walk Xander’s course. By the time I came back to run Kirby, I had forgotten his course and almost ran him to the wrong obstacle TWICE. Miraculously, he was a total rockstar and followed me as I yanked him off the wrong obstacles at the last second when I realized my mistake. Somehow we managed to Q with only one refusal, and I believe he was amused that it was ME responsible for screwing us up instead of him for a change. He nailed his weaves in both runs, but sadly I caused an off course and a knocked bar in JWW. However, he walked away with his second OA leg with a first place, since we were the only 12in dog to qualify.

Kaylee was a superstar as well. At nine years old, she hadn’t competed since December I believe, and came out to earn a 2nd in a very large 8in Exc JWW class! By the time six or so hours had passed and it was finally time to run Standard, she was over it and we had a miscommunication by the second to last jump. She still had a blast getting to play, and seemed to remember the location. Her favorite part was rolling in the hay and barking at the cows in the building across from ours. Such is the joy of a mostly-retirement.

Xander of course, was the hero of the weekend. He earned his Open Standard title on Friday with a 1st place, and made his debut in Exc A JWW that day as well with a 1st place. Saturday required him to wait almost 4 hours before his first run, since it was small to tall that day, and he was more than a little keyed up. I ran him off course by the third obstacle, so we had the freedom to run all out for the rest of the course. I deeply enjoyed that, and we had a blast. Although it was an NQ, portions of that run were some of my favorite parts of the weekend. His debut in Exc A STD went similarly, following another long wait, he went off course by the second obstacle this time. It was a chute with a 90 degree turn to the dogwalk, and he blasted right past the dogwalk! We recovered to handle the rest of the course, and I tried some other things I would not normally do if we were still qualifying, so that was fun and educational as well. We will be practicing the chute to the dogwalk!!

Sunday was the best day of the weekend. Our good friends Chris and Carroll came in late Friday night, and although they were exceedingly tired, enjoyed Saturday with us at the show. Carroll earned a Master JWW leg with Kansas, and we all went out to dinner at Outback on Saturday night. We stayed in the same hotel, so it was like a party! Feeling much more rested by Sunday morning, and having none of the conflicts of previous days, we faced Exc Std again early, as the tall dogs ran first the final day. His second experience in this class went far better than the first, and we ended up with the fastest time of all the 20in dogs! There were nearly seventy 20in dogs competing in Exc, including the incredible Gabrielle Blackburn and her amazing dog Zing. Although we earned 1st in Exc A, we would have placed 1st in Exc B as well. I was flabbergasted, thinking surely I would never be in the same league as these other competitors I admire so greatly. Of course, Terri Lee and her little sports car Vette weren’t present on Sunday, so I imagine they would have been at the top as well since they had been placing all weekend before!

Our final run of the weekend was my favorite. It was a very difficult Exc JWW course, and none of the larger dogs had run clean to my knowledge. We watched the legendary Ann Braue and Scream have difficulties, as well as the incredibly fast National Agility Finalists Jamie Herron and Zip have some trouble. There were only a handful of dogs before us to run in the 20in class, and we were still relaxed and happy from our success in STD. Xander handled the course like a professional and followed my every cue. While it did not feel “easy” because I had to stay on my toes the entire time, it did feel “good” and even better when we crossed the finish clean! Our time was 26.26, which held until Gabrielle and Zing laid down a 25.45. We were so close, and I was thrilled with our performance and another 1st place in Exc A. Although double q’s don’t count in Exc A, I still felt as though we’d earned one, and it was a perfect feeling to end the weekend on.

With a mix of relief, pleasure, and sadness, the weekend drew to a close. We packed up and said goodbye to our friends before making a last minute purchase of my one souvenir for the weekend, a cool car magnet that is simply a silhouette of agility equipment. Although I was exhausted upon our return home, Xander had a four hour nap and was ready to play again by the time we returned. His stamina has increased so dramatically lately that I fear I’ve created a monster. One time out to play Frisbee is no longer adequate. He now craves ACTION. I really need a yard and my own field of equipment….

The downside to all this fun was the cold, hard return to the real world yesterday. Taking two days off from work means returning to nearly 100 new emails and a mountain of backlogged work. Sigh.

I hope to have a video of the weekend up soon, when I can convince my computer to cooperate. I am trying to use music for the first time, and I don’t know if my poor little antique is up for the task. Stay tuned!

A Second Life for the Five Fingers

I have mentioned numerous times in previous posts how much I love my weird looking, alien inspired, Vibram Five Finger “shoes.” These have become all the rage in the agility and running community, and as a life-long hater of traditionally constrictive, heavy shoes, I embraced them as well. I spent months running happily in them, and ignored the first time I executed a shallow rear cross and ended up landing heavily on my side. I brushed myself off, and kept going. The next time I wiped out and landed in a less than graceful fashion in the grass, I thought for a second, and dismissed my concern. However, by the third and fourth times I either did an unintended split or found myself face to face with my amused and confused border collie, I decided it was time to reconsider my choice of footwear.

First, let me say that I don’t fault the Vibrams. They are wonderful, comfortable, ingenious, and awesome. However, I am fatally clumsy. I lack grace. I manage to trip and fall, run into things, stumble over myself, and slip in any situation and during the most banal, seemingly harmless activities.

I needed tread. Serious tread, like from soccer cleats. However, I needed shoes that were lightweight and non-constrictive. I was overjoyed when at a local show, some lovely vendors showed up with a few pairs of Innov8 shoes. They only had a couple of sizes left, and lucky for me for once that I have absurdly large feet, a size 10 was among them. They are lightweight, breathable, and best off all, I NEVER slip, trip, or fall as a result of abrupt changes in direction. I still trip over myself, however, that is not the fault of the shoes, but rather the fact that I have boats for feet.

At any rate, despite my joy in finding the perfect shoe for preserving my structural integrity (repeated falls from my 5 foot 10 inch height is bound to do damage eventually), I lamented the loss of my good friends, the Vibram Five Fingers. There they sat in the laundry room, sad and neglected as I repeatedly headed out the door to play in my new Innov8’s. I wore them to the zoo, but it wasn’t the same. They seemed to wonder what they had done wrong to deserve the demotion. That is, until yesterday.

Buster recently graduated ITT Tech. I was very proud. The ceremony, the celebration dinner, and the visit from his grandmother were all wonderful. Buster has spent the last two years killing himself working his 50-70hr a week day job, in addition to spending countless hours in class and doing homework. With the end of school, he has found himself with a surplus of mental energy, and a need to direct it somewhere.
Enter the kayaks.

My darling has become obsessed with kayaks, fishing, and most recently fly fishing in particular. He has studied, researched, taken classes, poured over books, magazines, and the internet, and equipped himself with two kayaks and a vast assortment of accessories. It’s great that he’s happy. I fully support it because I got to reap the benefit of joining him in a kayaking expedition yesterday. He outfitted me with a special shirt to stay cool, a swell hat to keep the sun off my face, and a spiffy new pair of polarized sunglasses with a strap to keep them from falling in the water. What about shoes for being in the kayak, which gets wet and sometimes muddy as you tromp through sand and water to make it to your departure point?

If you guessed Vibram Five Fingers, give yourself ten bonus points!

Not only do they keep your feet cool and dry quickly after being wet, they can handle walking on sand, water, rocks, and even oyster shells! I put them through the ringer yesterday, and they handled it all brilliantly. We were both thrilled with their new purpose in life. Water activities will no longer include burnt, cut, or blistered feet. So long as Buster continues his love affair with the kayak, my Five Fingers and I will continue to be happy together.

My shoulders on the other hand, are a bit mad at me from five or six hours of paddling. Ouch.

Living Vicariously

One of the most amazing things about living in today’s world is the unprecedented access to information. Not just facts and news, but thoughts, emotions, experiences, and insights. I have become so addicted to reading about the exploits of fellow agility handlers, inspirational dog trainers, and others who just make me laugh with their irreverent look at the craziness of life. I can’t imagine living in the world of isolation that was before the advent of the internet. Even though the world wide web has been around for a number of years now, a new culture of “blogging” has emerged, in addition to social networks such as Facebook, and an overwhelming amount of information is shared for free as a result.

You can see my list of “blogs I follow” here on my blog as well as my friends on Facebook. Some are funny, such as Hyperbole and a Half, which has made me laugh so hard I’ve almost cried. I’ve also come close to incriminating myself at work by laughing out loud.

Others aim to be profound and share advice for being more successful as a human being, such as Raptitude. While I may not agree with everything on this blog, there are gems within that are worth searching for.
The majority of the blogs I follow relate to my life’s greatest passion: dog training. Susan Garrett, Silvia Trkman, and other greats have offered priceless advice and insights into behavior modification, trick training, and strategy.

The others are people I would consider peers, although superior in the sport. These are people who inspire me in their agility journeys and people whom I aspire to be more like in various ways. They share their experiences, both good and bad, and relate the lessons they have learned through these experiences. These people set aside ego and allow the vulnerability it takes to admit that while they are not yet perfect, they are enjoying the journey in striving to be so. I want to thank them for their bravery, their ability to be honest and genuine in their faults, their admirable humility, and for allowing me to vicariously celebrate in their victories.

Furthermore, I recall reading that the sport of agility is in danger due to a lack of young handlers. I don’t think this could be further from the truth. In fact, due to Facebook, I have enjoyed watching a number of young, talented, passionate handlers make their presence known over the past year. While I myself initially become involved in agility at age 14, many of these handlers have been involved since the age of 6 and have had support and parental involvement. They’ve demonstrated skills superior to the majority of their elders, and exhibit the passion and dedication to work hard and accomplish what may previously have been unthinkable. These handlers are helping drive the sport with faster dogs, smoother handling, and more advanced training techniques. The rest of us need to work harder if we hope to reach the bar they are setting!

I was unable to watch the livestream of the AKC National Championship this weekend, but followed religiously on my phone through the magic of Facebook. I brimmed with eager anticipation at every update and celebrated each victory of those handlers I have been reading about and following online for so long now.

So to people such as Tori Self, Gabrielle Blackburn, Sarah Duke, Kelsey Kirkpatrick, Lauren Haley Duckworth, Andrea Samuels, Rosanne DeMascio and so many more, I thank you for sharing your excitement, your experiences, your victories and your close calls, and all that you have learned along the way. Congratulations for all of your achievements, and best wishes for your future endeavors. My life is enriched by all of you, and I hope to be sharing a Nationals experience again myself one day!